Week 9

Dear Diary,

October is my favorite month.

Birthday celebrations, fall foliage, cooler temperatures, and the closer we get to Christmas music.

This year, October was a challenging month for me. My thoughts of overwhelm got the best of me more than once, and I reached my breaking point.

With another dose of pandemic teaching, school districts are forging ahead, despite teacher and sub shortages. Doubling up on classes has become common practice in the absence of another teacher, and the added pressure took me back to the year I experienced teacher burnout. Luckily, I have tools at my fingertips to help me ground myself and keep going when my thoughts begin to spiral out on their own. Most of the time, they work and I can regain control of my mind.

In an effort to find physical healing, through ongoing meetings with a holistic nutritionist, I discovered some additional allergies to food. I am determined to stick to the plan and make changes that will help steer the ship in a better direction. Learning that some major changes in my diet will cause the elimination of my favorite foods has been overwhelming, and I think that I have gone through the stages of grief.

Thankfully in the midst of all of this, I was given the opportunity to guest host one of my top podcasts in art education. I am extremely excited to connect with thousands of listeners with the sound of my voice once the episodes drop.

The Universe was keenly aware of my busyness, stress, and emotional rollercoaster. I spent time on my back porch trying to manifest some peace to come in my own life, and little did I know that it was right around the corner.

Sickness hit my household, and for me, it stopped me in my tracks. As much as I enjoy feeling the sense of accomplishment that teaching brings me, I was oddly content being sick and contained to my comfortable bed for days on end. My mind was still. I had time to allow thoughts and feelings to enter, dwell, and leave as they pleased. I had no desire for my unhealthy vices. No alarm reminded me of the daily grind. I found the peace I needed in my life.

Peace came unexpectedly, but I needed it more than I needed to continue feeling the overwhelm that my busy life gave me in October.   

As I return to work tomorrow, I know that I will re-enter the busyness from which I stepped away. I know that I may again face overwhelm. I know that my mind may try to step in and take control of everything, manipulating my thoughts and feelings if I leave myself vulnerable and susceptive to its desire for power and control. I am prepared to tap into my superpowers to overcome the power of my mind to control my thoughts and feelings. I will be okay.

How do you handle overwhelming circumstances or situations in your life?

How do you know when you need a break from the busyness?