In a world where the echoes of trauma can reverberate through generations, Verna Lisa stands as a beacon of resilience and transformation. Raised in the United States by Sicilian immigrant parents, she grappled with the complexities of straddling two cultures while bearing the weight of intergenerational trauma. Verna’s upbringing, shaped by parents who themselves hadn’t confronted their own wounds, led her down a path marked by struggle and self-discovery. However, it was upon becoming a parent herself that Verna resolved to break the cycle, refusing to pass on the burdens she had inherited. Through her journey, she not only found healing, but also discovered her life’s purpose: to guide others in turning their pain into power, their wounds into wisdom.
Now, as Verna Lisa approaches the end of her fifties, she radiates a profound sense of purpose and gratitude, instilled in her by lessons learned from her sons. They became her driving force, her reason to delve deep into her own healing journey and emerge as a force for positive change. With unwavering determination, Verna has honed her experiences and insights into a transformative philosophy—one that transcends mere survival and embraces the fullness of thriving. In this exclusive interview, she shares her invaluable wisdom, offering a roadmap for those seeking to rewrite their stories, connect deeply with their own intuition, and ultimately, find the transformative power of love within themselves.
Keep reading for Verna’s remarkable journey of turning trauma into self-empowerment!
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Always an interesting question. When I am coaching a client who tells me they feel lost, I always ask them to tell me who they were before life decided that for them. Most people can’t come up with an answer. They know their roles; parent, child, teacher, employee, wife, partner, etc. Very few can tell me who they authentically are. So here I am hearing your question and asking myself the same question I ask my clients….
First of all I feel like it wasn’t until my early 50’s (I am 56), that I really knew the answer. So without further adieu, I am someone with endless curiosity, a deep thinker, a lover of art and knowledge, specifically knowledge related to human behavior, someone who loves to write, loves to share my experiences for the purpose of helping others feel less “crazy” and less alone. I am a survivor, a warrior, a gentle but fierce soul. I was born to Sicilian immigrants who were married very young and frankly, their parenting style caused a lot of trauma that took me decades to heal. Long story short, I used to be the person who could be molded into whomever the person I loved or wanted to notice me, needed me to be. Now I am that for myself.
How did you discover your life’s work as a life coach, intuitive medium, and author?
For the life coaching piece, I would say, through a lot of personal pain and suffering. I started learning from Tony Robbins’s work more than 30 years ago. It made a world of difference for me so I wanted to learn how to do that for others. Mediumship was not initially such a voluntary thing. It works well with coaching because it’s very healing. I am retiring from it at the end of the year and taking on more of a mentorship role. I have loved books and storytelling since I was a child. Part of the reason for my retirement from mediumship is so I can spend more time writing.
You have helped thousands of clients transform trauma into empowerment. Can you tell us about how you’ve experienced this for yourself?
Simply put: it was do or die. When I was 20, I attempted suicide. Fortunately, and obviously, I survived, and I was very grateful for that. But it would take me a long time to learn how to thrive and really live versus just going through the motions and surviving each day. Once I had my 2 boys, failing them wasn’t an option. I made a conscious decision to give them a better parenting experience than I had. I wasn’t perfect at it, but given my own childhood trauma, I knew I could use it as a point of reference. So I think that’s where the idea of transforming trauma into empowerment really began for me.
There was a period of 5 years where I didn’t speak to my mother and during that time, I did A LOT of work to heal and confront the demons of the past. After we began speaking again, I can vividly recall her at my home watching me with my boys. I think I had to put one of them in a time-out. I don’t remember what was happening exactly but I do recall her sadly asking me, how I learned to parent them so well. Her question took me aback because I had lots of doubts about my parenting skills. [At that point] I realized she was referring to me being able to discipline my young boys without physical punishment. Fast forward a few years after my divorce when a lot of crap surfaced again, I took on kickboxing as a form of therapy.
Listen to the full story and Verna’s powerful interview on The Intuitive Teacher Podcast!
Some women feel like they’re broken and need to be fixed, but you’ve always had a conviction that no one is broken, nobody needs to be fixed. Can you tell the listeners, especially those who are feeling this way, the truth about these stories they’re telling themselves?
Ooof, I am so passionate about this… So, we are human beings in search of love, compassion, validation, understanding, and healing. We are NOT robots or machines in need of repairs. Just because someone inflicted and imposed trauma on us does not mean we are broken. It means we are hurting. So I need people to understand that inflicted emotional and physical abuse creates a need for healing, period. Broken to me means, not breathing anymore. As in, not alive anymore. The bottom line, if you still have life, if you still have breath and a heartbeat, you still have hope and possibility. You are NOT broken.
“Deciding we are broken means we have bought into someone else’s belief that we are unworthy, etc, etc… It’s a huge lie we buy into and it’s a horrific disservice we do to our souls.”
This goes back to knowing who you were before life decided that for you. You were born perfect… whole, complete, and perfect, perfectly unbroken. More than enough…. and then life handed you a whole lot of challenges and managed to convince you that there is something wrong with you. Being broken and needing healing are two very different things. Healing involves the shedding of the layers of trauma with the purpose of revealing that beautiful soul you came into this world as. Being broken means, game over.
Most people, even those who are feeling suicidal, don’t really want to die. They just want to feel loved. Meaning, they are seeking healing and an end to suffering. So when the people who should be giving it to you unconditionally fail to do that, you have to stop looking for air underwater. You have to learn how to love and parent yourself. Which involves many things but above all, the dreaded inner child work.
Verna’s a self-taught intuitive medium. In her podcast interview, Jess and Jackie got all the details about the journey of mediumship, and how Verna works with others to develop their intuitive gifts. Listen here!
If you could give our listeners 3 practical takeaways to help them on their journey back home to themselves, what would they be?
- Most people have no idea who they really are or what they really want. The reason for that is fear of losing the love of those who are your primary source of love in this world. So we learn to live an inauthentic life, wearing many masks and eventually distancing ourselves from our true selves. Ask yourself who you were before the world told you who to be, what to be when to be, why to be, or even IF to be. Really take the time to figure that out. I am not talking about all the roles you take on in life, I am talking about you as that beautiful innocent child who had dreams, imagination, and hope.
- Get very clear about a desired goal and make a decision to follow through. Write it down, and hold yourself accountable somehow.
- Take consistent action on a daily basis. This helps break negative thought patterns and bad habits.
Any last words of wisdom for our podcast listeners and readers?
I just want to add that keeping promises to yourself is one of the best ways to begin, sustain, and maintain healing and achieve any goals. I mean it’s ok to pivot when something no longer resonates, but if there is a goal you dream about achieving, learn to adopt the mantra, “I will not break this promise to myself.” It can and will make a world of difference for you and those closest to you (especially children), who are watching and deciding if they are capable of making some changes.
Find Verna and contact her about offerings, workshops, and retreats at her website: layerscoaching.com.
Have you ever felt “broken?”
Are you ready to keep promises you make to yourself?